i'll be fat

Fatter, to be honest. Anyway, so I tried The Baconator from Wendy's. Here's what it looked like in the ads:

And here's what was delivered:

Was I disappointed? Hell no. In this day and age, who really thinks they're going to get what they see on TV and on print. Especially when it comes to food.

Also, the Baconator was GREAT. How can you go wrong with the taste of melted cheese, greasy meat, and bacon? Bacon is awesome. There's nothing like wafer-thin, crispy fat attached to a dead and deep fried pig. In this world. You know what was really considerate and thoughtful of Wendy's to do? There was nary a superfluous, sacrilegious veggie in sight. None of that awful, sickly tomato liquid to run down your neck. No leaf of lettuce to dillute the taste. No pickle to make me gag. (I could've used some onion though.) And I washed everything down with a thirst-quenching Biggie Iced Tea. None of that sugar-free stuff.

Anyway, based on this spot on review, (which bases this on Wendy's corporate site) a Baconator, in terms of bad stuff, is the equivalent of each of the ff:

Sodium (1920 mg)

180 Pringles potato chips
132 Doritos Cooler Ranch chips

Calories (830)

10 Rolling Rock Light 12 oz bottles
4 Dodger Dogs
5 7-Eleven Cola Slurpees 12 oz
3 Chili Dogs from The Varsity in Atlanta
33 tablespoons of Oscar Mayer Bacon Bits
83 Life Saver Five Flavors candies
166 Starbucks coffees of the week 12 oz
4 Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnuts
Enough Pam No-Stick Cooking Spray to cover 138 10-inch skillets

Fat grams (51)

10 Dolly Madison Zingers
3 orders of A&W cheese fries
4 Dairy Queen banana splits
22 Oreo cookies
51 cups of Froot Loops
10 servings of KFC mashed potatoes with gravy
22 Mrs. Paul's Crunchy Fish Sticks
23 3 Musketeers funsize snacks
1 Sara Lee frozen cheesecake
6 ounces of Oscar Mayer hard salami
19 Chips Ahoy cookies
4 Jimmy Dean Pancake and Sausage on a Stick, chocolate chip flavored
68 Aunt Jemima microwaveable pancakes

A whole frozen cheesecake?! That means it's all good. But check on me in the morning.